What Am I Doing?

What am I doing with my life? I think I am getting lost…

People say, “life without dreaming is life without meaning”. What’s my dream? What do I really wanna do? Damn. Is being unrealistic something to be wrong? I constantly asked myself… why am I so unpractical, so unrealistic… Can I do something more than that? Don’t stick to the status quo?

I didn’t expect 2017 makes me experience the stage of getting lost… I just graduated from uni a year ago. It’s been a year since I was working in my current company. A meaningful job, great colleagues, good staff welfare… what’s more I can ask for?

The evil mind is telling me: no, you need a pay increase… your job position is not telling your own worth… why am I giving a fuck but I have no solution on that… — That’s the Feedback Loop from Hell. I hate myself giving a fuck… hate myself hating myself giving a fuck.

Inspiration doesn’t come easy. Thanks to the company retreat. I happened to hear an inspiring story about a successful businessman in Hong Kong. I jotted down notes, on the sparkling points he made… But what’s next, what am I gonna do to plan, organize, reflect on my thoughts? In my previous blog, I mentioned taking action matters. It speaks louder than words… Now you have your inspiration… then procrastination comes and invades your thoughts… your body… not doing anything productive.

I’m not gonna make any insightful solution in this post… as today I just wanna type down all the thoughts I accumulated in this week… or maybe one day I will make a response on it.

But I gotta remind myself: stop being weak, be more mature, and don’t always fool around.